


Hunger

by Olukanai



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Feels, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Heartbreak, Love, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olukanai/pseuds/Olukanai
Summary: We all have a hunger.Florence + The Machine Songfic. The WoL and Emet-Selch have always tried to focus on their work to get over what they really want...
Relationships: Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Hunger

**Author's Note:**

> Born from a prompt from the lovely [Khione](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khione_North/pseuds/Khione_North) over at the Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club. 
> 
> Come join us for all your FFXIV fanfic needs and meet all the sweet lovely people there! [Here have a link](https://discord.gg/enabling-debauched-xivfic)
> 
> The song is [Hunger by Florence + The Machine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GHXEGz3PJg)

**At seventeen, I started to starve myself**

**I thought that love was a kind of emptiness**

**And at least I understood then the hunger I felt**

**And I didn't have to call it loneliness**

Sighing, the Warrior leaned her head back and moved away from the table she had been working at for hours. Stretching her neck and reaching up to rub the tension out of it, she looked over the storage area in the Waking Sands. It was full for the middle of the week, many of the Scions and their allies taking a brief moment of respite from their numerous duties. She had been listening to the sound of her own quill scratching parchment for so long that she had to readjust to the sounds around her. Chatter filled with a few laughs surrounded her and she smiled to herself, taking in the scenery. There were a few scions at the table next to her who were playing a card game and making jokes about their bets, all while a few onlookers quietly cheered them on.

Across from her, she caught Urianger’s eyes as he gave her a small smile from over his own pile of tomes. She nodded to him as she noticed a couple next to her. Looking in the young couple’s direction, she saw a young Miqo’te man and a hyur woman speaking in hushed tones. She watched him lean in with a smile on his face, teasing the woman as she flushed a bright red and laughed. A pang went through her chest at the sight. She wanted that, deeply. Someone to hold and cherish her, to tease her and try to make her blush and laugh. 

Pushing herself forward again she began looking through tomes again with a frown. No one had ever shown her any interest, so it wasn’t on the table. Not for her. If she couldn't pursue love, she would do the best she could in her work, do her damndest to do her part as a Scion.

* * *

**We all have a hunger**

She holds Alphinaud’s hand in hers as they ride in silence. She barely took in their surroundings as they rode the airship. The death grip he has on her fingers matches her own and they sit in silence. She squeezes his every so often in reassurance. A small pressure from him responds to most of the small squeezes. She feels numb as they ride and it has nothing to do with the Coerthas air. Her mind is stuck thinking of leaving her friends behind, one by one. She wasn’t unintelligent. She had left them to die. They had told her to go, sacrificed themselves for _her._ She squeezed Alphinaud’s hand and didn’t let go as tears started to run down her face once more. 

She gasped as she felt his returning squeeze, stronger than any others he had given so far, and it too wasn’t letting up. She looked at him to see him looking at her with resolve, tears flowing down his own face. Throwing all thought for pretense she threw her arms around him. Alphinaud, who she didn’t always get along with, was the last family she had left. Tears ran down her face more as she felt his own clutching hug in return and realized that the stray thought was true. He was _family._

* * *

**I thought that love was in the drugs**

**But the more I took, the more it took away**

**And I could never get enough**

**I thought that love was on the stage**

**You give yourself to strangers**

**You don't have to be afraid**

**And then it tries to find a home with people, oh, and I'm alone**

**Picking it apart and staring at your phone**

He had murdered millions, subjugated peoples and conquered lands. Wiped out entire _worlds._ Had spent a thousand, thousand lives with only Lahabrea and Elidibus for the sporadic company they provided. The blood, sweat, and tears on his hands was immeasurable. Lifetime after lifetime spent planning, scheming to throw the various shards into chaos, to cause calamity after calamity on the Source. 

And all for what? The resurrection of their sundered brethren. The pain of that day had lived with him every moment since it had happened. The loneliness, worse with every lifetime to the point he had guessed that it was what mostly filled him at that point. He wanted to save them. Knew that if he could only just…. 

Clenching his fist he knew he had to continue. For his brethren, for his friends, for his loved ones. For _her._

Looking up, he watched as her most recent incarnation followed her comrades through the forest towards the faerie kingdom. 

* * *

**Tell me what you need, oh, you look so free**

**The way you use your body, baby, come on and work it for me**

**Don't let it get you down, you're the best thing I've seen**

**We never found the answer but we knew one thing**

The Night’s Blessed wanted to celebrate the return of night, and in turn share that joyous occasion with the ones who had returned to them the stars. Initially the band of Scions had stated that they wouldn’t stay for the festivities, but a small celebration had been cobbled together swiftly for the night before they left the next morning. They simply would not let the Warrior of Darkness and her comrades leave without sharing in their elation.

Emet-Selch was already bored of the celebration only a few minutes after it had begun. He had stationed himself on the outskirts of the festival, leaning against a tree trunk they had brought in for seating. He would have left earlier if Thancred wouldn’t be so easy to harass and fun to rile up. He was starting to wonder if he could entice the poor man to actually fight him. He smiled as he caught said man’s attention as he helped a few of the blessed carry something out of the area. The returning scowl was almost worth it. 

Just as he was about to open a rift to leave, he caught sight of bodies dancing near the fire. She was among them. He watched as she twirled and jumped to the music the blessed were playing. He watched her movements, nothing self conscious about them in that moment, just free and away from the stress of lightwardens and the First. Of all her forms he’s seen, this incarnation was so painfully close to how she _was_ that it sent a pain through his very being. 

He didn’t realize he was smiling until she stopped from a long spin and caught his eye. She was breathless and smiled brightly at him, earning her a small wave in turn. Lowering her eyes and looking up at him her smile turned shy and he knew that she still had his heart after so long. 

* * *

**And it's Friday night and it's kicking in**

**And I can't dress, they're gonna crucify me**

**Oh, you and all your vibrant youth**

**How could anything bad ever happen to you?**

**You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment**

**I forget to worry**

Emet-Selch pressed his lips to hers again. He had cradled the Warrior’s face in his hands and was soothing her cheeks with his thumbs, drying her tears as they fell. She looked utterly devastated in the silence as they kneeled with each other, her hands clutching his robes seemingly in an attempt to keep him there, with her. His aether was slowly starting to float around them as his life was nearing its end. 

He pulled her face up to meet his eyes, and he could see a swelling of affection in hers as she brought her own hands up to his face. He gave a watery laugh as a few tears fell and she caught them. He had always known she would win, she had always been stronger than him in so many ways. His heart ached at the woman in his arms, he didn’t want to die, to leave her here. Everything he had worked for, he knew was slipping away, but it was for the best. He knew she wouldn’t have wanted the rejoining, to bring everything back, and maybe, just maybe, this incarnation could forgive him for leaving her. 

She cupped his face and gently pulled him down to her, leaning her forehead against his own. Though she was crying still, he felt the smile she gave him against the corner of his mouth as he closed his eyes to just feel her there with him. 

She had only just found him, the man so achingly familiar to her that her very soul was drawn to him. Now she was losing him. She could only sit there in her quiet grief as she tried to accept it. He was everything she had ever wanted. The thought struck her as odd because they didn’t even get along all the time, but her heart knew it, something down, buried within her knew _him_. She knew he was her future, even as he was slipping away, so she chose to be selfish and take every second that she could, slipping her hands into his hair and holding him so close, pressed against her own face. 

He buried his face into her hair and neck and sighed as he dissolved into a mist of aether. She let her hands fall to her lap as she watched the last of the aether disperse. Her heart was breaking, but she loved him. She _loved_ him so utterly and deeply, that she couldn’t be upset. The loss of everything she had ever longed for was crushing but she would survive. He would want her to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone in the book club who are so sweet and encouraging, I wouldn't have been able to be brave enough to put anything out there without you guys. <3


End file.
